"D-Day" is the ABFA (annecephaly support group) term used to describe the yearly anniversary of our baby's diagnosis. Do I expect it to be a difficult day? I'm not sure. I know it's the anniversary of the worst day of my life...
Exactly one year ago, we sat in an ultrasound room and were told the unimaginable. We saw our baby’s deformity with our own eyes, understood words we had never heard before, and our world came crashing down.
Yes, December may be tough too, but I think it's possible today may be worse. December 12th is the day she lived. That’s the day we got to embrace her and we felt only love for her. It’s hard to explain unless you’ve had a similar experience....but, each and every baby truly is a gift from above.
And, Dec 17th was anticipated. We had peace in knowing her purpose had been fulfilled. We were told Lily’s condition was "incompatible with life". So, when she lived for 5 ½ days, we were so very proud of her and thankful for God’s blessing.
But, July 3rd, 2008….easily the worst day of my life. This is the day we went from feeling sweet anticipation to feeling like we were caught up in a storm. All celebration of the pregnancy seemed to stop. This is the day we felt a loss of hopes and dreams and began grieving the anticipated loss of a baby girl we would never know here on earth.
I know the story doesn't end there. I know I loved feeling her grow and move inside of me and we learned to celebrate the pregnancy and all of that. But, July 3rd, 2008 was a tough day. We couldn't see past our tears or broken heart to know God's faithful hand was upon us or that He would show us blessings down this bittersweet road.
Today we will spend some time at Lily's grave fixing it up a bit and then we will go to Longwood Gardens. I think it will be nice to look around at all the gardens-pointing out and learning about all the variations of lilies with our boys. Hopefully, I'll have a chance to share some pictures when we return...
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
We went back to Dutch Wonderland this summer. This time we camped with a bunch of our friends from church. Look at our camp site...notice the horses right on the edge of the water (it was an awesome camp site and we had a GREAT time):
As with most events we've planned this year....it rained:
(Paul and Kym with two of their four kiddos - Javen and Ellie)
However, sunshine came the next morning and we had our 'rainbow' moments (these are a few of my favorite pictures from the trip):
(Tara and Kym with Kym's youngest son Javen)
(Justin - loved all the rides)
(Evan - much more timid than his daring brother)
(Chris and Doug)
(Chris and Doug's daughter Gracie with Justin)
Thankful for good times and GREAT friends! : )